Wednesday, May 31, 2006

J'ADORE SEA MEN!

Fleet Week has come and gone, and once again, NYC collectively mourns. We had the pleasure of meeting three young sailors last week. They stopped to ask directions to Hogs & Heifers, but the little J'Adorable one on the far right looks more like he was trying to find The Cock. But we digress...

Friday, May 26, 2006

J'ADORE REVOLUTION IN THE AIR!

So you all know that we're NOT the biggest fans of Perez Hilton. All that self adoration and shameless narcissism should really be left to professionals like us.

But every now and then, he brings to light a little something that might have slipped by our all-encompassing omnipotence.

In this case, it's the UK's latest export, Sandi Thom. At first we hated it, but then after the first 23 seconds when the percussion kicked, we spewed our J'Adoremen all over her.

Join us as we give a big round of J'Adores to our latest J'Adoration...

Thursday, May 25, 2006

J'ADORE THE HOFF!

As we all know, David Hasselhoff has been enjoying an extremely successful musical career in Germany, and we'll bet you anything that it is the Germans who are responsible for this innovative use of green screen technology.

We implore you to watch the entire video. Pay special attention to the scene where The Hoff realistically portrays a black crow soaring through the skies!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

J'ADORE ALMOST HAVING IT ALL!

We don't know what's happening at the offices today, but we are having some crazy ass vintage diva moments! We're currently J'Adoring us some Whitney CRACKston!

DIDN'T WE ALMOST HAVE IT ALL? WHEN LOVE WAS ALL WE HAD WORTH GIVING? THE RIDE WITH YOU WAS WORTH THE FALL, MY FRIEND...

J'ADORE JUSTIFYING OUR LOVE!

We were just having a vintage Madonna moment over here, and we had to Justify Our Love (for ourselves....OBVIOUSLY!)

POOR IS THE MAN WHOSE PLEASURES DEPEND ON THE PERMISSION OF ANOTHER!

Friday, May 19, 2006

J'ADORE MOUNTING BLIND GAYS!

It has been a VERY long time since we have literally LAUGHED OUT LOUD at something we've seen on the net, but one of our most favorite J'Adorable closet cases (his name is Adam and he works at a prominent magazine in NYC) sent this in to us this afternoon and we just HAD to J'Adore it!

Please J'Adore "on air fuck ups" with us immediately!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

JE N'ADORE PAS!


Our most sincere apologies to all our J'Adoring fans. We know you've been giving us a big JE N'ADORE PAS for not posting more often, but we are so overworked right now at our real job.

We promise we'll be back soon with a LOAD of titillating items for you to J'Adore all day long!!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

J'ADORE EVOLUTION OF DANCE!

We're talking The Lawnmower and The Sprinkler people!!! This shit is just too crazy! It's like watching my life pass before my eyes! Well, not the 50s, 60s and 70s parts...

J'ADORE BREAKING NEWS!


As you would assume, a major media force such as J'AdoreJoey.com has undercover spies, photographers, sources, informants and reporters scattered all over the world!

This photo was shot only minutes ago and sent to us via secure satellite transmission. It exposes a massive cover up by the US government. It seems that the Avian Bird Flu has hit the shores of the US and has surfaced in a South Florida trailer park complex.

As you can see, the effects of this deadly flu are pandemic. The CDC is expected to put out a warning within the next few hours. Until then, keep your children indoors and stock up on prosciutto and champagne!

More To Come....

J'ADORE CUMMING!

You guys are SOOOO dirty! I meant J'Adore ALAN Cumming! Jeez! I don't always take it down that route, you know...

In any case, last night we had dinner with Alan and a couple other friends, and we have to say that we really enjoyed ourselves. We stayed out a bit past our bedtime, and this morning we're a little more tired than we'd like to be, but it's the price you pay.

Currently, Alan is on Broadway with Cindi Lauper in The Threepenny Opera. We hear it's amazing. If you're in NYC, you must check it out!

Monday, May 08, 2006

J'ADORE SCRABBLE WITH BILLY!

On Sunday, we hung out with our good friend, Billy. We were on my rooftop in Weehawken, NJ sipping on champagne and partaking in some "herbal" refreshments.

We had such a good time, especially when we KICKED SOME ASS on the Scrabble board. It got a bit chilly around sunset.

J'Adorable photo essay below.




J'ADORE ROWING IN THE PARK!

One of the things we J'Adore the most is rowing in Central Park. It's cheap, fun and you meet fun people because everyone is J'Adoring their time on the water. No attitude for miles. Above you'll see our rowmates for the day, Suss and Foxy! One can't row without a couple of hot bitches in tow.

Here we see Suss confused by something? Could it be Foxy's double chin? Could it be that there wasn't any champagne on board? We're not sure, so we're moving on....

J'ADORE DROWNING ALIVE???

We stopped by David Blaine's live drowning on Saturday afternoon in Lincoln Center, and we were not sure how much we J'Adored it. On the one hand, we're HUGE fans of David's magic, but this shit ain't magic. It's self induced torture.

His hands are losing skin. His muscles are atrophied. He's probably got blue balls cuz he can't stroke one out while everyone is watching.

I mean, what the fuck? Is this really necessary?

In any case, we're giving him a big ass J'Adore right now, cuz God knows we wouldn't pull this shit...

JE N'ADORE PAS!

5% of the world's people consume 1/3 of the earth's resources resulting in nearly 50% of the waste produced. That 5% is the United States of America.

What are you doing to bring change?

J'ADORE 100!

We are very excited over here at J'Adore Joey as we just turned 100! Please take a moment to J'Adore all things J'Adorable while we celebrate our 100th posting!

We never thought we would make it this far. Thank you to all our J'Adoring fans for making all this possible!

Friday, May 05, 2006

JE N'ADORE PAS!

Ummmmmmmmmm, hold up! Wait a minute!
This is not the way to put some UHN in it!

Okay, I understand the importance of promoting a movie, and I know that box office sales are key in the first weekend, but this is NOT the way to get the black community to come see your flick.

Seriously.

J'ADORE THE MUPPETS!

If you haven't seen The Muppets Take Manhattan, you're missing out BIG TIME! Kermit gets amnesia and hilarity ensues...

J'ADORE JAMBA JUICE!

I'm glad all you Jamba Junkies up in Manhattan have finally gotten the picture! We OG Angelenos have been indulging in The Juice for quite some time now... Enjoy your summer, but don't be fooled. Those things are FULL of sugar. And your ass will BLOW UP!

J'Adore Strawberries Wild!

JAMBA JUICE!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

J'ADORE HARRY JOE OLSEN!

We are constantly being harassed at the office when we're trying to work! Today, we had a surprise visit from Harry Joe Olsen, above, the older brother of Mary Kate and Ashley.

We think it's a bit sad the way he tries to be like his younger sisters with the Hermes scarf on his head, the CHANEL sunglasses on his face, the oversized Helmut Lang bag. The dog is fucking cute, but come on! It's a bit much, no?

J'ADORE MAKING A POINT!

J'ADORE L'EVANGELISTA!

Ever since we hung out with her this Saturday, we have had some MAJOR Linda Evangelista on the brain. We have never been able to get over her, and we don't think we ever will. Don't hate us cuz we're beautiful.

Below a quick retrospective of the most gorgeous woman to have ever walked the earth.

Linda's infamous ad for KENAR where a male version of her was kissing a female version of her. We've tried this at home, and it's really hard...


With long blonde hair....

In touch with her masculine side for Peter Lindbergh...

In sepia tone...


Someone beat Linda up because they were jealous of her, obviously....


Without makeup and still BEYOND amazing...

J'ADORE CLUB TROPICANA!

We can't tell you how in total J'Adoration we are to bring you this video! One of our all time favortie songs by one of our all time most favorite bands. Ladies and J'Adorables, may we present to you......WHAM!!!



How did we not know back then that George was a master of the skin flute? Did we miss the white speedos? Did we not pay attention to the hot shower scene? Was the "pink martini" and little ponytail not a total cry for help???

Our apologies to Mr. Michael for not running to his side before the incident in the park...

Monday, May 01, 2006

J'ADORE MARNI!

These photos are from a party for MARNI designer, Consuelo Castiglioni, this past Saturday night in NYC at the home of the uber-fabulous Jacqueline Schnabel. All the usual suspects were in attendance...Gina Gershon, Mario Testino, Magdalena Wrobel, Shalom Harlow, Jacquetta Wheeler, Fabiola Beracasa etc...

But then we heard that Stephane Marais, make up artist to the world, left and came back 5 minutes later with fucking' LINDA EVANGELISTA in tow!!!! Our eyes would have rolled into the back of our head, and we would have hit the floor with a thud! What was she doin' there? Is she not the hottest bitch on the planet?!?! She's been turning me out since 1990!


We also hear that Helena Christensen spent all night cuddling in a corner with an anonymous hottie. We're totally jealous. Although she looks like she applied her eyeshadow with cue stick chalk, we still love her!