Friday, February 29, 2008

J'ADORE SAVING LIVES!

The other night we were having dinner with our most J'Adored, and recently engaged, publicist friend, Michael Tavani. We used to work together, and we have to give him credit for being one of the best PR sharp shooters around.  Shooting fish in a barrel is his specialty.

We got ourselves a cozy little table at La Bottega at The Maritime (dining at hotels is key as you never know when you'll need a room after dinner). We ordered a dirty martini. Michael had a glass of Montepulciano. We spoke of love, life, work, fashion and the state of the hotel industry as we see it today. Quite riveting stuff, if you ask us.

One thing we learned back in the day about our little Michael is that he's DEATHLY allergic to nuts. We remember one day at the office, we said to him, "We didn't know you were allergic to nuts!" and our boss from the other room overheard and interjected, "Yes! He is!  Especially yours!" J'Adore!

We ordered a small pizza to start and the swordfish entree to share. The waitress was informed of his allergies, and she assured us there were no nuts in the meal. The swordfish arrived with arugula and a bell pepper caponata on the side. We split the plate and continued J'Adoring each other.

Half way through our meal, we looked down at Michael's plate and noticed four pignoli nuts peeking out of his caponata! We freaked out! Did he eat the nuts? Was he going to die right there on the spot? We couldn't risk waiting and finding out.

We pushed all the plates and glasses off the table sending them crashing to the floor while everyone turned to look what happened! We grabbed Michael by the collar and pulled him onto his back on the table. Jumping on top of him, our legs straddling his pelvis, we began to administer CPR, pumping on his sternum, breathing life into his lungs and screaming "Don't go to the light, Michael!  DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT!!!!"  The waitress ran over to help, but we turned around and bitch slapped her to the ground in one fell swoop!

Actually, none of that last part really happened.  What actually went down was that we spotted the pignoli nuts, we pointed them out to Michael, he pushed his plate away and we called the waitress over to complain. He then thanked us for saving his life, and we went on to enjoying the free cheesecake they sent over. We personally like the first version better.

At the end of the day, we J'Adore saving lives just like we like to think we did last summer, and we know that Michael J'Adores us for giving him a second chance. 

If you'd like more information on How To Save A Life, click here.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

J'ADORE THE (sub)MERCER!

Once upon a time back in 2002, our very good friend, Darryl Gibson, took us to this little place he liked to call (sub)Mercer.  In actuality, everyone called it (sub)Mercer because that's what its name was!  J'Adore!

Anyway, the (sub)Mercer was a tiny little bar located WAY underground, two floors below street level underneath The Mercer Hotel.  You could only find if you knew about it.  The entrance was via an emergency exit door in the back of The Mercer Kitchen and then down an industrial flight of stairs.

You entered the room through a long dark hallway lined with wine bottles behind caged doors, and when you arrived, you were in the chicest place you ever did see.  Exposed brick walls held up by low brick arches.  Low banquets lined the perimeter and a stripper pole was hidden in a tiny nook and it would immediately scream out our name!  

Our good friend, Simone Bent, was the manager, and she turned us out every time.  "Bottle of vodka?  No problem.  It's on me." she would say with a wink.

We spent 6 debaucherous months in that subterranean land of ecstasy.  Unfortunately for us, it was shut down for being way too glamorous for its time.  (Actually, it was a permit issue, but we don't like to talk about that.)

Late last month, we heard through the grapevine that the (sub)Mercer was reopening.  We couldn't believe it.  Our heart skipped a beat.  Could it be true???  Well, we found out this past Saturday night that it WAS true.  And guess what?  The stripper pole was STILL there!  We wish it hadn't been because we fractured a rib and our inner thighs are still bruised.  Don't ask, but we can assure it was pretty amazing!

Maybe one day you'll be able to visit it to.  But will you be able to find it?  And if you do, how will you convince the man at the door that you're worthy enough to enter the room that has hosted the countless J'Adorable VIPs before you.

Don't come asking us for help.  We'll already be down there on the stripper pole.  J'Adore!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

J'ADORE TOUCHING MY BODY!


Mariah Carey is soooooooo funny!  Looking past the fact that she annoyingly references YouTube in her song and that she's still wearing tacky ass silver metallic stripper dresses in her videos, we have to give her credit for making such a hysterically J'Adorable video which TOTALLY makes fun of herself.....cuz she knows we all make fun of her on the daily anyway.  

She got the guy from 30 Rock (who we J'Adore in this). He plays guitar hero (which we J'Adore even more). They play laser tag and race cars together, and then the bitch tries to play like she's tech savvy pretending to know what 802.11N means!  J'Adore!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

J'ADORE PURPLE BALLS!

Last night, we were cruising around the website of our good friend and the most amazing fashion stylist to come out of Canada in a very LONG time, Conrad Nadeau, and we came across this J'Adorable little editorial!  We love the purple balls!  It reminds us of when go to the doctor's office, and...wait, no, that's blue balls.  Sorry.  Anyway, check out his site by clicking the link above.

J'ADORE UPSIDE THE HEAD!

Monday, February 25, 2008

J'ADORE THE STONER QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"When asked the question, 'What is consciousness?', we become conscious of consciousness.  And most of us take this consciousness of consciousness to be what consciousness is.  This is not true." - Julian Jaynes

J'ADORE FUCKING BEN AFFLECK!

Sunday, February 24, 2008

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"I met Courtney Love and she said she'd like to sleep with me but couldn't because of my pop star thing.  So I said I couldn't sleep with her either....because of the ugly thing." - Robbie Williams

J'ADORE THE T-SHIRT OF THE DAY!

Friday, February 22, 2008

J'ADORE THE ANTI-ANNA!

New York Magazine, ran this J'Adorably in depth feature on Carine Roitfeld, Editor In Chief of French Vogue, in this week's Spring Fashion Issue.  It's a phenomenal look into her world and why she doesn't want to be anything like Anna Wintour.

J'ADORE WTF???

J'ADORE SNOWEY JOEY!

This morning we woke up to a snowy winter wonderland!  We J'Adore waking up and looking at all the white stuff covering the ground!  (Usually, we're looking at white stuff covering our friend's faces, but we probably shouldn't have told you that...)

To add to our exuberance, we logged on to our email, and we had an email from our total BFF, Brad Fisher, entitled Snowey Joey! J'Adore!

JE N'ADORE PAS!

OMG, BITCHES!!!  We totally missed our own birthday 5 days ago! We totally forgot!  J'Adore Joey turned 2 years old on the 17th, and we weren't here to remember!  And by "we weren't here", we mean drunk.  

We can't believe it's already been 2 years since we first J'Adored you major!  What a long and winding road it's been.  All the J'Adores.  All the Je N'Adore Passss.  (How do you make that plural?)

We couldn't have made it this far without you right by our side the whole way through, and we J'Adore you for it!  Happy Birthday to us!

J'ADORE DIOR!

Last night, we were at our favorite little French brasserie, Le Singe Vert, with our most J'Adored friend from Vegas, Joanne Takahashi.  She's the mastermind behind the Nobu empire, but don't be calling us to get you a reservation, cuz we're not J'Adoring you like that right now!

While slurping down our Kumomoto oysters, we noticed Joanne's wrist sparkling in the candlelight.  It was the most beautiful silver watch with little diamonds around the face and raised pyramid like metal tiles on the band.  We J'Adored it.  She said it was John Galliano for Dior.  We said J'Adore Dior!  And that was that.

Later that evening, upon our return to our petit chateau, we were reading our favorite bitch, Candy Pratts Price's, white hot list of must have items for the Spring, and about half way through, we noticed that CPP had chosen Joanne's watch as a must have for Spring.  J'Adore having fashion forward friends, but it gets better.  
We were reading the description..."Diamond & Pearl Christal Degrade Watch......$29,995"  Wait!  What?  $29,995!?!?!  We were like DAMN, BITCH!!!  We love Joanne and all, but had we known the watch was worth that much, we would have totally slipped her a roofie and grabbed the watch and ran!

We're seeing her again on Saturday afternoon, so at least we have one more chance!  Don't tell her before we get to her, okay? J'Adore!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

J'ADORE PETER SARSTEDT!

While in the country this past weekend with our most J'Adorable friends, Chris & Zoe, we were introduced to the most delicious little folk song from 1969 by Peter Sarstedt entitled Where Do You Go To My Lovely? about a childhood friend named Marie-Claire who moves to Paris and becomes a member of the "jet set".

We totally J'Adore custom topless swimsuits in order to get an even suntan, on our back and on our legs! 

Below is a cover by the 90s one-hit-wonder, Right Said Fred. Doesn't really do it justice, and the end of the video just confuses us.  Je N'Adore Pas!


J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural and spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things, natural and spiritual, as a meaningful unity." - Albert Einstein

(We have to mention that we only used the above photo of Einstein at the beach because of the shoes!  WTF?  Are those Easy Spirits?  And why is he wearing them at the beach?)

J'ADORE J'ADORING OURSELVES PART DEUX!


We have to tell you a funny story. Only because we're probably the most narcissistic bitches you ever did meet. Last century, circa 1998, we were doing a little shopping at Bed, Bath & Beyond, and out of the corner of our eye, we saw the most beautiful creature we ever did catch a glimpse of. We stepped back a few feet to see who it was, and lo and behold, it was our own reflection in a full length mirror! Yes. We chuckled. We were a bit embarrassed, but we were definitely NOT surprised.

This HYSTERICAL video by choreographer extraordinaire, Robert Hoffman, sums us up in a nutshell.  We'll never find love because we're the only ones we really want. So we guess, since we already have ourselves, we should just feel content, right? Right.

Excuse us for a moment.  We need to go J'Adore ourselves, if you know what we mean.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

J'ADORE WHEN KEEPIN' IT REAL GOES WRONG!

J'ADORE WTF???


Honestly.  We don't really like to hate.  Actually, we J'Adore to HATE, and Paula Abdul has made it just so much easier to do so today with the release of her new video Dance Like An Overaged, Out of Touch Has Been.  

This woman's job is to make or break people's music careers, so we really don't understand how she agreed to this video.  The stylist alone should be found, bound and shot.  Are they serious with that pill box hat thing and the 7 foot wide collar?  

We're not even going to talk about the choreography.  If Paula keeps dancing like that, there's definitely NOT going to be a tomorrow for her!

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

J'ADORE FOGGY WINTER ROADS!

We're back out in the country this weekend. This time, it was with another set of friends as we told you earlier. Or did we tell you? We can't remember but whatever!

It was a very foggy day upon our return. It reminded us of the English countryside which we've never visited. We snapped the above photo of the road leading to the farm across the street from the house in which we were staying. 

We were expecting the headless horseman to turn the corner at any second! J'Adore!

J'ADORE BONOBOS!

Not too long ago, we heard about the most curious little creature, the Bonobo, which lives in the jungles of the Congo.  The Bonobo is a lesser known and more endangered member of the chimpanzee family characterized by a leaner body, longer legs and a smaller head.  But what's most interesting about the Bonobo is the role that sex plays within their society!

They have sex when greeting each other.  They have sex when fighting with each other.  They have sex in resolving conflict, and then they have sex when the conflict is resolved!  WE KNOW!!!  We want to be a Bonobo too!!!

Being the science dorks we are, we did a little more research only to find that Bonobos were not only a chimpanzee but also the hottest men's pants on the market today!!!  Listen up, Bitches, this is important!

Started by Andy Dunn and his college roommate, (Yeah.  We're wondering why college roommates are playing with each other's pants too, but that's another story all together....), Bonobos were created to fill the void clearly left wide open by everyone else.

We got a hold of a pair not too long ago, and we are mesmerized by our ass every time we put them on!  From the curved waistline to the slightly flared pant leg and the short rise, these pants makes us look like Greek gods!!!

The fabrics are imported from Bavaria and Italy.  The zippers flow smoother than Dom Perignon.  And the wide range of J'Adorable colors are a dream!

The best part?  They only cost $110 - $140!!!  

Trust us when we tell you that you have to log on to Bonobos and order some for the Spring ASAP.  Make sure to check out the Mint Julep cords!  They're our favorite.  

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"The gigantic catastrophes that threaten us today are not elemental happenings of a physical or biological order, but psychic events." - Carl Jung

J'ADORE PARTY GIRL!



We TOTALLY forgot how much we J'ADORE Parker Posey in Party Girl, the 1995 cult classic film, until Brando at BPW posted this! You HAVE to watch this video, and if you don't want to watch the whole thing, fast forward to 2:02 and watch from there!  The Heh Heh HELLLOOO! segment and the dance sequence with Natasha is GENIUS!  We J'Adore Parker Posey!

HEH HEH J'ADOOOOOORE!

J'ADORE TATER TOTS!

We're not sure what just came over us, but we just heated up and ate an entire bowl of Tater Tots!  We love those damn little things.  Crispy potato on the outside.  Soft little potato chunks on the inside.  Add ketchup and J'Adore!

JE N'ADORE PAS!

Not too long ago, we reconnected with an old friend from High School, and during the process of catching up, he mentioned that he has this affinity for fried cheese curd and beer.  Being that we only nibble on Beluga and Dom Perignon, we had no idea of what he was speaking!

When asked to elaborate on these mysterious cheese curd snacks, he sent us this link.

Can we talk about how DISGUSTING this stuff looks?  Eating cheese before it becomes cheese is not something in which we want to indulge, and being that we'll probably only find it in Wisconsin, a place we'll probably NEVER visit in our lifetime, we're not panicking.

J'ADORE FASHION WEEK MOMENTS!

WE KNOW!!!! GET OFF OUR BACKS ALREADY!  We never got back to you about our fashion week exploits, and we're really sorry. It's just that we've been a little bit busy, and although our fashion week was fun, we kept it mellow this season.  We were a bit over the hype.

Anyway, we're here to bring the first part of a two part series on our favorite fashion week moments!

So we were minutes away from being allowed access backstage to our first show of the season. We were smoking a cigarette at the backstage entrance to the tents when we ran into our favorite model turned actress Joy Bryant.  We hadn't seen her since we ran into her lunching at the Chateau Marmont last June.  She's so cute, and we J'Adore her major.  

We return to our cigarette and then we hear a woman call out our name in a raspy European accent. It was one of our most favorite international fashion publicists.  We were smothered in air kisses, J'Adorations and compliments on our black suit!

"You look so chic today, DAH-ling!  Who makes your suit? Costume Nationale?"

And before we could tell her that it was a cheap Armani Exchange suit we had purchased in LA the day of our uncle's funeral because he dropped dead unexpectedly while we were on vacation out there, she reaches out, grabs one of our jacket buttons, reads Armani Exchange, and says...

"Oh!  It's Armani Exchange.  OOPS!"

J'ADORE!!!  Only a fashion publicist could be status conscious! Between you and us, it's really the only way to live!

J'ADORE GIVING VOGUE EDITORIAL!

Our weekend in the country was too much fun, Bitches! We drank, we cooked, we went wine tasting, we strolled on beaches with 12 degree winds burning our faces and numbing our ears. It was too much. Here we are giving you Vogue editorial jumps on the sandy shores of Southampton with our most J'Adored supermodel bitch, Magdalena Wrobel.  If you can believe it, she's 8 months pregnant in this photo!  WE KNOW!  Isn't it sick!  The bitch gained like 5 pounds only!  We hate the genetic lottery!

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"This is the way of peace: 'Overcome evil with good, falsehood with truth and hatred with love.' - Peace Pilgrim

J'ADORE ROCK 'N ROLL ROYALTY!

You wanna know who's been turning us out on the web as of late? We'll tell you.  It's Harper's Bazaar!  

We know you probably don't follow the inner workings of New York media, but we do, because when those pesky reporters coming knocking on our doors to do a feature on us, we need to know who's who!  We can't be denying ALL requests for interviews, bien sur!

ANYWHO...  If you haven't noticed, Bazaar is totally turning us out with their new site, and we know who to thank.  She's the genius behind all things fashion on the web....Sarah Cristobal, who you might know from our past coverage of her fab city life.  

Currently, Bazaar has this most delicious feature on Frances Bean Cobain, Kurt and Courtney little demon offspring, who is proving not to be so demonesque anymore!  We're totally J'Adoring it right now, and we think you should too.

Smells Like J'Adore Spirit, no?

J'ADORE LA MAISON TROPICALE!

Our most J'Adored purveyor of all things fabulous, Stan D'Arde, has informed us of the most J'Adorable little house this side of the Himalayas.  And by this side, we mean London.  

It turns out that, Andre Balazs of Chateau Marmont and Mercer Hotel fame, has purchased and put on display at the Tate Modern, in conjunction with The Design Museum's first ever exhibition of French architect, Jean Prouve, La Maison Tropicale.

La Maison Tropicale was France's solution to the growing housing shortages it was facing in its colonies in Africa.  Many were built but only three currently survive.  After being found in ruins and then later restored, the maison is now on display in London and will later be moved to a top secret new project Mr. Balazs is working on in some far off tropical locale.  

Odds are, we at J'Adore Joey have already been there...  

J'ADORE!

Monday, February 11, 2008

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"It's like living in the middle of the ocean.  No future.  No past." 
- Beth Orton

J'ADORE ALBUM COVERS!

Last week, we posted this J'Adore WTF?! item, and our boy over at Bonjour PeeWee left us a comment saying that it would make a great album cover!  We agreed, and then, look what the bitch went and did!!!  He cut an album and made our photo (well, not OUR photo, but you know what we mean...) his album cover! See the dedicated posting here.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

J'ADORE WINTER BEACHES!

So we're totally out in Southampton right now chillin' with our most favorite Polish supermodel bitch, Magdalena Wrobel, and yesterday, we took a very chilly walk on the beach. The wind was numbing our ears and our eyes were totally watery. The ocean was violently pounding on the beach while the dark clouds in the sky were looming above. We J'Adored it major. So we took a photo.

Friday, February 08, 2008

J'ADORE CROUCHING PETER, HIDDEN NIPPLE!

J'ADORE WTF???

We're not really sure what this is all about.  It's a fucking lion riding a horse!  It's been in all the papers, and to be honest, we still have no idea what the point is.  The saddest part is that they pulled all the lion's teeth out beforehand.  We guess they didn't want him to eat the horse!  WTF???

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"Once you are living your life in awareness, it will be as if you stand high above others, witnessing their suffering, while you do not suffer at all." - Buddha

Monday, February 04, 2008

J'ADORE Y3 FW 2008!


Y3 works us out with every season they show!!! First it was the Wall Street show with the 1 ton bank vault door. Then it was the Alfred Hitchcock show at Roseland. Then the show where they light up the entire Hudson River as a backdrop. And then last season's show under the high line! We had no idea what to expect this time, and bitches, they did it again!

We showed up to Pier 40 and were led into a pitch black parking garage lit only by a quarter mile long row of green lights. Looked like an airport runway. We showed our invitation and proceeded into an ice world. Twelve rows of bleachers facing a 230' long and 20' tall wall of ice blocks. It was so cold in there, they gave everyone Y3 polar fleece blankets to wrap up with!

Without fail, the production was genius as was expected, but what we were most excited about was that this was their strongest collection to date. The marriage between Yohji's design and Adidas' athletics was seamless.  No longer two great tastes that taste great together, but this time around, it was one great taste all the way through.  (What is all this taste talk?  We think we're hungry!)

For more on the collection, click here.

J'ADORE BLACK JACK!

You'll remember from our last trip to Vegas that we don't really like that city nor do we like to gamble.  If we're going to gamble at all, we're going to play Black Jack.  We think it's fun, and that's that.  Well, we just found a fun online Black Jack game by Andkon which we thought you would enjoy.  Good luck!

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"If you do no know how to keep still in this crazy world, you will be drawn into all kinds of unnecessary trouble.  You will lose your view of the Way, and, when you realize it, it will be too late, for in losing the Way, you have also lost yourself."  -Lieh Tzu

Sunday, February 03, 2008

J'ADORE YES, WE CAN!

J'ADORE OUR HERO MISS TANDI DUPREE!

OMG!!!  WTF?!?!?  If you don't watch the whole thing all the way through, at least do us the favor of watching at least the very first minute!!!  We are speechless.  If only we could make entrance like Miss Dupree!

Saturday, February 02, 2008

J'ADORE BEING FROZEN!


This is why we LOVE New York City!  Not too long ago on a cold Saturday, Improve Everywhere took 207 people to Grand Central Station, dropped them in various areas in the main concourse and then had them freeze for 5 minutes all at exactly the same time! Then at the same exact second, they all unfroze.  You have to watch the video.  J'Adore!

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"How much easier it is to be critical than to be correct." 
- Benjamin Disraeli

JE N'ADORE PAS!

Valentine's day is 12 days away.  Je N'Adore Pas!

J'ADORE THE WHITEST KIDS ON THE PLANET!

How the hell are these kids Michael Jackson's???  They're WHITER than he is!!!  Supposedly, Michael was in Vegas with his kids to see some ventriloquist at the Luxor and the paps got the shots! Above, you've got Paris Katherine with Prince Michael behind her and the little one, Prince Michael II aka BLANKET(?!?!?!?!?) can be seen here.  God help these children...

Friday, February 01, 2008

J'ADORE CANDY CAST PART QUATRE!

The bitch has done it AGAIN!!!  There's a new CandyCast, and it's just as amazing as the first three!  What do to do in a crisis?  HAVE LUNCH!  Feeling down?  WEAR A FLORAL DRESS! What's the chicest thing to do now?  LEAVING YOUR DOGS AT THE COUNTRY HOUSE!  You have to watch it and get back to us!

J'ADORE THE HIDDEN MAN!


Photo courtesy of David Snowdon-Jones

J'ADORE LIVE FROM THE TENTS!

We've always known that fashion and American Express have gone hand in hand!  We mean, how else does one afford all those GUCCI coats if we're not dropping them on our Black Card? J'Adore! Well, now, AMEX has gone from holding hands with the industry to totally jumping into bed with it doing things of which we cannot speak!  

Today, AMEX launched The AMEX Fashion Network, a website bringing you all the action from inside the Tents at Bryant Park LIVE!!!  Nowhere else on the web will you find the shows as they're happening!  From front row action (make sure to look for us!!!) to celebrity interviews to your favorite supermodels coming down the runway.  They've got cameras in every corner of the tents giving you access to the J'Adorably stylish scene and a glimpse into what we have to go through on the daily!  

We've said it before, but we have to say it again, being popular is difficult AND expensive!