Wednesday, November 28, 2007

J'ADORE HOT THESPIAN ACTION!

Some of you may know one of my best friends as the guy who gave it to Hasselcrack, but to us, he's just little ol' Willona, or Mr. Will Wikle as his sex slaves like to call him.

Hailing from Tupelo, Mississippi, Will moved himself to NYC to work as a nurse to help all the little children in need. Then one day, the bitch got cast on Big Brother 5, then the bitch got his own radio show, then he was a coverboy for Instinct Magazine, and if that wasn't enough, he now also has his own travel show on the Logo Network!!!

But all the while, with his new found fame and fortune, he never forgot about the children, working late nights and early mornings in hospitals across the country to help those who can't help themselves. If we didn't love this bitch so much, we'd go to his house and cut him......BAD!

And today, we just received news that the cunt got cast as the villainous lead character in the sequel to the homo cult favorite, Another Gay Movie. WTF?! Although we're so excited for him, we really do have to question whether we love him enough not to cut him. We'll decide later. For the moment, there's a mirror in the hallway with our name on it! J'Adore!

J'ADORE MACBOOK HO!

We got a MacBook Pro, Bitches!!! We know! We can't believe it either! After 11 years of being on PC, we finally made the switch. It's pretty fucking cool......except, we don't really know how to use it, but we'll figure it out.

We're a little annoyed though because we think we got ours with OS X Tiger, and when we went onto the Apple site just now, it says the new books are shipping with Leopard! What to do? Do you think Apple would send us the new software? We probably wouldn't even know the difference, right?

Whatever. We're moving on...

J'ADORE BEING BACK!

We are sooooo back, Bitches! So happy to be home. Not that we don't love Los Angeles, but when we're gone for a little too long, we start to get anxiety. But now it's gone.

In regard to the photo above, we were just cruising around the internets this morning and came across it. Coincidentally, and we're not lying, last night when we landed at Newark airport, we were so excited to be home that we jumped up out of our seat and struck the EXACT SAME pose in the main aisle on the plane!!!

Unfortunately, we got yelled at by the flight attendant because the captain hadn't yet turned off the seatbelt sign, so we had to contain our excitement and sit our asses back down. Je N'Adore Pas!

So we're back to J'Adore you in every possible position we can. Grab the lube and a clean towel cuz we're cumming back at you.

Monday, November 19, 2007

J'ADORE LOS ANGELES!

We know you're totally giving us a big Je N'Adore Pas for not posting more regularly, and we feel horrible about it. We honestly do, but our lives have been a little bit chaotic as of late. We have a new project we're working on, we're trying to finalize another project for fashion week in February, our dishwasher broke, we went to the premiere of I'm Not There (SNOOZARAMA BTW).....

Anyway, we could go on, but you don't want to hear it.

We're off to Los Angeles today. Going home for the holidays. We know it's a bit early, but we miss our city of angels (and devils). We'll try to keep you up to date of our adventures, but as usual, we're not promising you anything! J'Adore!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

J'ADORE JULIO DOWN BY THE SCHOOLYARD!

You guys are soooo dirrrrty! Although we definitely DO have a story about us and Julio down by the schoolyard, we're not going to tell you about it. This is a family site.....we think. The Julio we're talking about is our latest obsession.....Simon & Garfunkel's early 80s hit. We're not too sure what it's about just yet, but we J'Adore singing and dancing along, but not like Garfunkel, as he can't dance for shit.

J'ADORE BEAUTY IN THE BREAKDOWN!

We're not posting this because it's funny or anything, but tonight, we were passing through the Port Authority LATE NIGHT....don't ask why....just keep reading, and we saw this photo opportunity. We took it because we thought it was strangley beautiful. The man sleeping on the floor. The accordian fence. The red subway sign. The fluorescent lighting.

But at the end of the day, this man has no home. Je n'adore pas. Let's J'Adore the things we have because there are many others out the who cannot.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

J'ADORE 50 DOLLARS TO MAKE US HOLLER!

This past Sunday night we were celebrating a friend's birthday, and needless to say, it got WAY out of control. We started brunch at 1pm, and we didn't get home until 2:30am! UGH.

Anyway, on our way home, we swung by the pizza place on Christopher Street, and you know how all the trannies come out after 1am! J'Adore!

We were trying to hail a cab, and we felt a tap on our shoulder, and we turned around to see the above beauty! She gives new meaning to blue eyeshadow and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.

It wasn't her extreme beauty that shocked us, but rather, she actually used the following line...

"Hey, Big Boy! Suckee Suckee 50 dollars! Me love you long time!"

We had no idea Asian whores actually used that line!!! We just thought it was a movie thing. Anyway, we politely declined....we think. Whatever. J'Adore!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

J'ADORE WTF! WTF! WTF! WTF?!?!?!??!?!?

Okay, Bitches! We randomly just received this posting from a friend of ours, and it's truly beyond!!! It's definitely NSFW, and it's definitely NOT for the faint of heart. This shit is MESSED up. But we sort of secretly J'Adore it!

Click Here to see what we're talking about! OMG!

J'ADORE GERMAN STRIPPER LESSONS!

Friday, November 09, 2007

J'ADORE INTERPRETIVE DANCE!

Or is it interpretive exercise? We're not sure as of yet, but we DO love how these men have taken the jumping jack and made it their own. We're thinking that these men are NOT prisoners in the Philippines. Couldn't dance worth shit.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

J'ADORE JET SETTING!

We got a call today from one of our best friends, Shirley Mallmann, asking us if we wanted to jump on a plane tomorrow and head down to Miami with her while she shoots some fabulous campaign. We thought about it for like 5 seconds and said...BIEN SUR!!!

We'll be back on Thursday night. We're not taking anything but our little TEENY WEENY black Moschino bathing suit, our blackberry and a bottle of Bain de Soleil, because what else could we possibly need?!?!

J'Adore you when we get back! J'Adore!!!

J'ADORE JAPANESE TETRIS!

You know you all love the Japanese for giving you sushi, edamame and shrimp tempura, but our hottie little sister, Joyce, sent us this hysterical video of our Asian friends playing Human Tetris!!! How come WE don't have shit like this up in our country. We'd totally rock this game!!! Come on, Merv Griffin, BRING IT ON!!! Oh, wait, Merv's dead...

Friday, November 02, 2007

J'ADORE LEGO HAWKING!

We just received this photo of Stephen Hawking, the master of all things universal, by Christopher Tennant over at Radar Magazine, and we just had to J'Adore it. Pretty genius!

J'ADORE BLACKBOOK MAGAZINE!

Let's talk about Steve Garbarino for a second. If you don't already know him, he's the J'Adorably HOT editor in chief who took over BlackBook Magazine last summer and who most recently got married to the deliciously J'Adorable Maddy Simpson out at the Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles.

Not since Lindsay Lohan left Promises have we seen a makeover go so well. The magazine is better than ever, and more importantly, the online edition which now boasts daily content, features, fashion, entertainment, nightlife, restaurants and bar listings is totally beyond J'Adorable!

Check it out by clicking the link above and check in daily!

J'ADORE CAKES FROM WALMART!

You should know that if you're ordering your cake from Walmart, you're probably not gonna get the best that money can buy. Case in point, the above cake which was ordered with the following direction. Please write "Best Wishes Suzanne" and underneath that (write) "We Will Miss You!" If they were going to fuck up the cake, they could have at least spelled underneath correctly. We're just glad we're not Suzanne.