Thursday, December 28, 2006


Okay, sluts! We know what you were thinking, but the In 'n Out motions we're talking about relate to the one and only place in Southern California to get a hamburger! We're about to run out and get a double double with cheese (no onions) and french fries like you've never had french fries before!

For all you bitches not living on the west coast, check out IN 'N OUT to see what you are missing. And trust us, you're missing out on ALOT!!!

Saturday, December 23, 2006


By definition, flash fiction is a sub-genre of the short story characterized by word length. There is no official or exact word limit, but flash-fiction stories are generally less than 2,000 words long, and tend to cluster in the 250- to 1,000-word range.

One day, at their regular round table meeting at the Algonquin Hotel in Manhattan, Ernest Hemingway said to William Faulkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Dorothy Parker and other literary notables attending: "I'll bet each of you ten dollars that I can write a novel in only six words. Place a ten dollar bill in front of you. I'll write the words on this paper and fold it. When you hear the words if any of you disagree with my statement, I'll pay each of you ten dollars. If there are no objections, I take your money."

Faulkner unfolded the paper and read:

"For Sale. Baby Shoes. Never Used."

Hemingway collected.

Thursday, December 14, 2006


We know. We know. We haven't been posting, and Art Basel is already old news, but wait!!!! We have a good excuse! We've been busy at our day jobs producing fab events. We know. We know. That's ALWAYS our excuse, but it's true! We do this blog for YOU. For FREE! So, you're just going to have to wait 'til we have the time. Anyway, we spent a J'Adorable week down in Miami Beach for the cluster fuck that is the Art Basel Fair, and hilarity ensued... When we call it Art Frazzle, we REALLY mean it!

Our week started with two nights of tastings at the new and J'Adorelicious Lido restaurant at The Standard Miami! Yes, there was more than ONE reservation made. This was just the first one!

The first night, we dined with our favorite Colombian, Juan Carlos Arcila Duque...actually, he's our second favorite. Our first favorite Colombian we are not allowed to mention by name as he's in the "export" business, and we don't want his cartel to kill us. Nuff said.

After dinner, we cozied up to the bar for a digestif only to find the gorgeous Jason Harler getting even cozier with the J'Adoriffic Claire Darrow. Poor Jason is still trying to prove his manhood even though we all know he's lighter in the loafers than Anderson Cooper!

After the night's festivities, we took part in what would become a nightly ritual while staying at The Standard Miami....a midnight swim in the 80 degree infinity pool! J'ADORE!

You all know we love taking photos of ourselves, cuz we're narcissistic hookers over here, but when our J'Adorable underwater camera produced this photo of near auto-fellatio, we J'Adored all over ourselves! Can this photo be any more J'Adorable? We think not!

Walking back to our room we felt like we were cruisin' the boardwalks on Fire Island! Shadowy characters lurking in their terrace bathtubs hidden behind nothing but sheer flowy fabric...we're surprised we didn't get more action!

The Miami Standard is a spa hotel, in case you didn't know, and the wet rooms all have bathtubs on their terrace. Lord only knows we got anything BUT wet on our trip down to Miami...(I hope you know we're totally playing the virgin here and we're totally lying!)

It was back to work the next day, and that meant visiting the famed Raleigh Hotel which was host to many of Art Basel's main attractions. Here we see the Raleigh pool where Esther Williams filmed many of her aquatic masterpieces. If only we had taken synchronized swimming in college instead of that utterly useless international business course!

When we tell you Cubans got it going ON, you best believe us! The J'Adored Emilia Menocal gives us some hot ASS Cuban action while we play with her in the waterfall! Victoria Secret has got NOTHING on us!

After our first two events on Tuesday night were finally over, we needed to let off some steam in a major way. Luckily, our most J'Adored supermodels, Magdalena Wrobel and Shirley Mallmann, were coincidentally down in Miami and joined us at J'Adorable Jennie Yip's Buck 15.

We also ran into Hottie McHotstuff, Gabby Mejia, that night. Bitch was TURNING IT OUT on the turntables wearing nothing but some vintage John Galliano as one normally does on a Tuesday night!

Wednesday night's dinner for Jimmy Choo really wrecked us, so when Billy Farrell invited us up to the Patrick McMullan headquarters at the Ritz Carlton for some champagne, we couldn't refuse. It was only when we saw the mess of four photographers living together in one room that we reconsidered our stance on refusal!

The rest of the night proved rather uneventful, until we ended up at Sante D'Orazio's book party. As you can see, Sante and Tico Mugrabi were having a lot more fun than we were!

Outside in the garden, we ran into Jackie Astier and Peter Davis who obviously were over all the paparazzi shooting them all night. You'd think after flying them both to Istanbul, they would at least stop and pose for a picture for us!

Wednesday's nightly swim brought with it great fear and trepidation. Lurking in the water, we thought we had run into the much fabled Hot Ness Monster!

Upon closer inspection, we realized that it was not the Hot Ness Monster, but rather, the J'Adorosity that is Lehua Chong! Work it out, co-worker Bitch!

The moon that evening kept us curiously J'Adoring it all night. A bit hazy, a tad brighter than normal and mysteriously accompanied by a suspicious ring. Fellow midnight swimmers referred to it as The Harvest Moon, but we doubted them as the Harvest Moon generally appears in September.

The next day, the ringmaster himself, Mr. Andre Balazs, stopped by The War Room (actually my hotel room), to see from where all things were being commandeered. He snapped this photo and left feeling content. Little did he know we were orchestrating the return of US troops from Iraq, but as long as he thought we were working on his projects, we were all in the clear!

Thursday night was the most anticipated night of the week. With all the hottest parties happening then, we didn't know where we should start. We began with Yvonne Force Villareal and Mark Fletcher's garden dinner at The Standard Miami.

We bumped into the J'Adorgeous Casey Spooner giving fierce Kuwaiti fashion!

In the crowd, we spotted our two most favorite artistes du jour, Jack Pierson and Fernando Santangelo. They hadn't yet noticed us, so we just kept J'Adoring on our own.

WWD's J'Adorable Elisa Lipsky-Karazs pulled up a towel next to us for dinner.

After dinner, we, with Jack Pierson, Hugo Guiness, Joseph Sheftel and Fernando Santangelo, headed over to catch Dita von Teese's shameless Viva Glam cowboy spectacle at the Delano .

We're really a bit too ashamed to tell you what transpired that evening after this photo was taken...

...what we CAN tell you is that we came home at 7:00am to find our most J'Adored friend, Chris, in our bed in nothing but his American Apparel underwear! Just the way we J'Adore him! (Obviously, the above photo is not of Chris in our bed. Actually, we don't even know the above guy, but Chris was wearing the same shorts in you figure it out.)

As our week came to a close with cloudy skies and gale force winds, we passed by the pool to say goodbye to it, only to find crazy ass Kate Schelter taking a casual hurricane swim! That bitch has got to lay off the sauce!

After a week of The Frazzle at Basel, we were J'Adoring finally being home.

Saturday, December 09, 2006


We're furiously going through our photos, files and empty bottles of tequila from last week's maddening Art Basel Fair in Miami Beach in order to bring you the latest from the fair, but in the meantime, we didn't want to leave you a whole week with out something to J'Adore!

So, today we're J'Adoring British artist, Jessica Craig Martin, and our favorite photograph of hers! This is NYC's finest man about town, Anthony Haden Guest, and if our memory serves us correctly, this photo was taken at Indochine's 20th Anniversary party which we helped organize in November of 2004!

Obviously, Anthony had a little too much fun that night, and Jessica had even more fun taking the picture! Let's all J'Adore JESSICA CRAIG MARTIN together now!

Thursday, November 30, 2006


So we're off to ART BASEL tomorrow where we're going to endure a cluster fuck of fashion, art, parties, socialites, dealers (hopefully the good kind), artists, party crashers and who knows who else! We're tired, and we're missing you. Hopefully, we'll be able to post while we're down there, but if not, please know we J'Adore you and will be back at you on the 9th of December....if we survive! Je n'adore pas!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


Once upon a time,
a girl asked a guy
"Will you marry me?
The guy said "No"
and the girl lived happily ever after
and went shopping, drank martinis,
always had a clean house, never had to cook,
remained skinny, and was never farted on.


Thank you to our J'Adorable Yaa for sending us this tale of independence....even though her eyes wander more than our hands do!

Monday, November 20, 2006


Ummm, can we talk about Monica Thompson, Deputy Photo Editor at In Touch Magazine?

It seems that she's spent WAY too much time in front of her computer screen looking through photos of Mary Kate and Ashley cuz Bitch done gone lost her eyesight and is needin' some crazy ass spectacles to see.

DAMN! At least she got gorgeous green eyes to magnify. J'ADORE!


January 2, 2005 - November 14, 2006

Today is a very very sad day. Our beloved Alfonso Beracasa, son of the J'Adored Fabiola Beracasa, has unexpectedly passed on to the big dog park in the sky.

We first met Alfie this past summer during one of our sun soaked weekends in the Hamptons. He welcomed us into his home when our hosts weren't yet there to greet us. He showed us to our room, and he didn't even mind when we pulled him into bed with us while we lay there naked trying to fall asleep. (Actually, it wasn't our bed. It wasn't even our room. We were drunk, and we ended up wearing a CHANEL suit shortly thereafter, but that's another J'Adorable story all together!)

That's the kind of dog Alfie was. He loved with all his heart. He entertained like there would never be another party again. He never judged anyone (even when you're a drunk naked freak pulling him into bed with you!)

We ask that you all say a prayer for the untimely passing of little Alfie. Take comfort in the fact that he's somewhere out there guarding the door to the closet that holds a CHANEL suit of your very own!

Sunday, November 19, 2006


We have to give the Japanese a little credit for taking so much interest in our personal lives. Somehow they knew that a boyfriend was nowhere in our near future, so they came up with the next best thing! The Boyfriend Arm Pillow!

No more arguments. No more fighting over what to watch on TV. You just curl up with the Boyfriend Arm Pillow and all your troubles disappear.

We're obviously justifying our singledom and totally bitter about it, so let's just J'Adore our new boyfriend and move on, okay?


Monday, November 13, 2006


Considered one of the biggest trouble makers of the art world, New York born artist, Tom Sachs, focuses on critiquing fashion and street cultures. He manipulates our ideas of consumption, branding, commercial imagery and objects of money and power, while all the while forcing us as label conscious consumers to question exactly what it is we're lusting after and changing our perception of luxury goods as a whole.

Tonight, we were able to celebrate Tom's new book with Fondazione Prada at the Prada store in SoHo. Everyone and their mother showed up from Miuccia Prada to Helena Christensen to Kenny Scharf to John McEnroe....(now do you understand why we don't have the time to update daily???)

I hope you J'Adore Tom Sachs like we do.

Click link below for more on his work.


Sunday, November 12, 2006


Today, we are most enthralled with a quote by St. Teresa of Avila which Truman Capote used in the epigraph to his last and unfinished book, Answered Prayers.

"More tears are shed over answered prayers
than unanswered ones."

Take your time to ponder. We'll just be sitting here J'Adoring quietly.

Monday, November 06, 2006


We hate to be these people where we are constantly apologizing for our inadequacies, but we can't even tell you the kind of life we're leading right now. So busy with our day jobs. We have no time to ourselves, no time for our friends, no time for anything.....NO LIFE!

So we ask for your understanding during this very busy season, and we promise that we'll back at you with all of our J'Adoration in a very short while.

In the meantime, if you're bored, just check out the archives! We're sure there's something there you haven't read before!

Never forget you're J'Adored in a BIG way!


Sunday, October 22, 2006


You know that we're HUGE football fans! GO TROJANS!


One of the most influential commercials of our youth, CHANEL'S Egoiste laid the foundation for who we are today. The mystery, the energy, the drama and the sensationalism defined a generation.

When we're bored during the day, sometimes we at J'Adore Joey just stand at our window and scream EGOISTE!

Try really helps take off the edge.

Saturday, October 21, 2006


The other day we were just cruising along the web, and we don't know how we found him (we might have Googled "Kentucky Gays with Dynasty Hair"), but we happened across William Sledd. And we collectively J'Adored!

This little Southern gay is armed with a MAC computer and a video camera, and he's spewing hysterical fashion advice, baking tips and all around video fun!

Below is our favorite video where Will brings on to the scene his number one fag hag, Stephanie, and they go through the ins and outs of denim today.

Click below to visit William's site, and make sure you go to his You Tube page where you're able to view all of his videos in one place.
Make sure you find the video titled RAW, UNCUT, UNEDITED, JUST ME where William decides that he can't talk about his problems, so he just THINKS about them! J'Adore!


Wednesday, October 18, 2006


We are soooo excited for the launch party of PINK BOX by Joan Sinclair tonight! This book delves into the Japanese sex club industry like none other before it.

With detailed photos of Japanese women in various sexual encounters, both alone and with their respective customers, it's prone to give you a bone....that's if you like Sushi of course!


Monday, October 16, 2006


When Denizzy "the Hizzy" Viscizzy told us about Gizoogle, we thought the Ho was frontin' and packin' the lies. Was it possible that a website existed up in this bitch that tranzlated any site searched for into some crazy ass Gangsta shit?

Well, sho' nuff, it was true! True nuff that it made us J'Adore the Shiznit out of it.

Click the link below, niggaz, for some fucked up Gizooglin'!



Friday, October 06, 2006


When Billy Farrell from Patrick McMullan's directed this photo of ourselves, Amy Sacco and Luigi Tadini, we thought he was a bit crazy. The whole Get Smart Agent 99 shoe phone to our not looking impressed to Luigi looking like something out of a Rock Hudson movie (no pun intended), we just weren't feeling it.

But when we saw the photo we J'ADORED it in a major way!! We think we're gonna have to ask Billy for a poster sized print.....Billy, are you reading this?!?!?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


We just flew in from Istanbul, Turkey, and BOY ARE OUR ARMS TIRED! (Sorry...It just came out!)

But we did just get back from a whirlwind weekend in Istanbul where we celebrated the new Zac Posen collection at Vakko, Turkey's largest retailer of luxury goods. It was chicness like chicness has never known itself to be! The Grand Bazaar, The Blue Mosque, champagne filled nights, champagne filled days, brunch cruises on the Bosphorous and wild parties until dawn....all in honor of our favorite fashion darling, Zac Posen, and all in a matter of three days!

It started off with a wild party on a non-stop Delta flight direct to Istanbul from JFK. We were accompanied by Zac Posen, his parents, Paz de la Huerta, Padma Lakshmi, our most J'Adored photographer, Douglas Friedman, the most J'Adorable David Gruning and a host of others.

Douglas Friedman plays stewardess. Sun Chips, Peanut Butter Crackers or ME!?!?

David Gruning checks out Doug's offerings. We have a feeling this isn't the first time he's done so!

Supermodel Michele Hicks smiles politely as she plots our ass kicking in her head cuz we're blocking the door to the bathroom!

As the two ambien we've taken slowly start to mix with the fifth vodka rocks we've imbibed, we ponder stepping outside the plane for a quick cigarette.

Zac Posen leans over Paz de la Huerta to whisper sweet nothings into Nemo Labrizzi's ear.

After 10 hours on that damn flight, the sight of the pez colored buildings of Istanbul are a Godsend!

In the middle of the bus ride from the airport to our hotel in Bebek, Mickey Boardman of Paper Magazine pulled a Rosa Parks demanding that he no longer sit in the back of the bus! Billy Farrell just lauged and took pictures of the embarassing episode.

The entrance to the Dolmabaci Palace. The only one allowed through the front gate was the king! I guess they never have had a QUEEN visit before!

The view of the Bosphorous and the continent of Asia from our balcony. Whatever.

With over 5000 shops in The Grand Bazaar, we were done with our shopping in just under an hour!

Sex pot, Kate Schelter, and Trovata's, John Whitledge, both go into shock at Friday night's party, after seeing our (What did you think they saw???)

Valentino's Carlos Souza weeps with joy as Doug tickles his left scrotal sack.

Rufus, Earl of Albemarle, is seduced by the hysterical glamour that is Dita von Teese!

DJ Eve Salvail (aka the bald supermodel with the tattoo on her head) turns it out in the dark. And, yes, she wears her sunglasses at night.

Although we were stuck in our room seating 400 guests for Saturday night's black tie dinner, we at least had a GORGEOUS view of the historic Ciragan Palace.

To add insult to injury, while we were holed up in our room, we had to watch all of our guests get shuttled out to the Savarona, the world's fourth largest private yacht, for an ultra-glam brunch and cruise up the Bosphorous!

David Kuhn was totally mesmerized by our hotness while Antony Todd bored, we mean, welcomed our 400 guests to dinner!

Nothing says black tie like diamond encrusted black onyx nestled in the cleavage of London party goddess, Rena Sini!

The cleavage is hot, but Rena's eyes makes us J'ADORE all over ourselves!!

Luca del Bono makes us think dirty thoughts...

Did we mention that Dita von Teese had the NERVE to bathe herself in a champagne glass right in the middle of dinner?!?!

David Kuhn loves him some J'adorable action. I'm sure he found it somewhere in Istanbul. Hammam anyone?

Nina Clemente works her vintage Gianfranco Ferre with a Turkish horsetail thingamajig.

We thought David Gruning was cute and all, but we can't imagine what the hell he said to Rohit Pursram to make him laugh so hard. Maybe it was the fact that David used to be a woman?

Our favorite duo, Daniel Benedict and Andrew Saffir, were about to call it quits for the evening here. We heard Andrew started showing people his pink lace thong late night.

It was 5am and time to head over to Crystal, Istanbul's HOTTEST club, but before we left, we had to say goodbye to the velvet mafia..JackPierson, Fernando Santangelo, Donald Baecheler, Mickey Boardman and David Kuhn.

Was it any surprise to anyone that Crystal would take full advantage of all the neon lights available in Turkey?!

The guilt we felt for coming home at 7:30am quickly disappeared the moment we saw the sun rise over Asia and reflect off the Bosphorous and straight into our bloodshot eyes.

Still WASTED from the night before, Kate Schelter quickly realizes that the skinny plant in Ataturk Airport which she was kissing goodbye was not Bridget Hall as she had orginally thought.

When we asked the pilot to "Fly Us Over Greenland", we didn't think he would misunderstand our request for some "herbal refreshment"!

Nothing says Welcome Home like the New York City skyline......FUGEDABOUDDIT!