Bitches. We're sorry we haven't been around as of late. Fashion week is starting on Friday, and we're looney with J'Adorosity!!! We'll be back with you shortly. xoxoxo
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
We are SO disturbed right now! We were on our way home, and we popped in to a pizzeria on West 42nd Street to use the restroom. We pulled it out and began to do our thing, and what the hell do we see sitting on top of the urinal??? SOMEONE'S COCK RING!!!!
Who the hell takes off their cock ring and leaves the damn thing on the urinal while they relieve themselves??? It was pretty new. Black leather. Two snap buttons.
Wait! Why are we explaining this??? (Maybe cuz for a split second we thought we'd try it on......BUT WE DIDN'T!!!) We walked out of the restroom wondering Why? Thinking How? Pondering Who? We've seen alot of things in our life, but this is one of the simplest and most bizarre.
JE N'ADORE PAS!
Friday, August 22, 2008
At this point in the game, we all know that this Page Six blind item about a Hollywood hunk raping his ex-boyfriend and then paying him $500K to keep quiet is James Franco. Oh, wait. Or should we say....we PRESUME it's James Franco (for legal purposes...hahahahaha!) Either way, we know it's true.
So we totally J'Adored all over ourselves when we saw this video from T Magazine where James says that it was "uncomfortable" for him to kiss Sean Penn! Whatever! He says that his favorite movie is My Own Private Idaho, and that statement in itself is a blatant statement of his latant J'Adomosexuality!
Listen up, Bitches! We need your help, and we need it NOW! Not too long ago, we started a charity with our good friend, Elettra Wiedemann, in order to help the Solar Electric Life Fund equip a hospital in Kigutu, Burundi with solar energy for the term of its existence. As you can see from the above satellite photo, 90% of the continent of Africa is rendered pitch black without electricity after sundown. That means that emergency operations happen by candlelight, medications go unrefrigerated and all communication systems are down!
All we need is $450,000!!! J'Adore!
SO....We've enlisted Chris Benz, House of Diehl, Phillip Lim, Rogan, Giambattista Valli and Rag & Bone to design 100 limited edition Africa and energy inspired t-shirts which are being sold through our site, Just One Frickin Day, beginning this Monday, August 25th. View the t-shirts here.
Alternatively, you can also donate just one frickin day of your annual salary through the custom calculator we've built. Or if you're a cheap bitch (HA!), you can donate just one frickin hour!
Please help us make it happen, J'Adorables!
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
We all know that the British can't dance. We dare you to name one dancing Brit.....and Madonna doesn't count. She's from Detroit. ANYJ'ADORE....
Our Kiwi friend from Vanity Fair in London, Annabel "Hoorah!" Davidson sent us this piece she wrote about her involvement in The Big Dance....850 people shaking their bangers and mash up in Trafalgar Square and consequently breaking a Guinness World Record.
All participants were required to watch the below instructional video and "learn the dance". And then hilarity ensued....
When we first saw this post on DListed, we thought, "Why is that freak standing in a corner like that next to a flower bin that looks like a coffin?" Then we read the story and screamed out WTF????
Apparently, 24 year old Angel Pantoja Medina told his family that when he dies, he wants to stand upright at his own wake, and his fucking family granted his wish!!! This bitch was found under a bridge on Friday, and for 3 days, he stood upright in his mother's living room while friends and family came and said goodbye.
Honestly, this shit is way to much for us to handle. Can you imagine getting up in the middle of the night to get some milk and cookies and forgetting that your dead son was standing in the corner and then all of a sudden, you turn the corner and there he is! We would lose it major.
We usually give a big Je N'Adore Pas to those bitches who never pick up their phones. It's so annoying. We call. They don't pick up. We leave a message. They don't call back. A cell phone is not about you making a call when you feel like it. They're for when WE decide to grace YOU with our J'Adorable voice! So, when we call, you pick up, bitch. Got it?
Anyj'adore, we just came across the most genius little section entitled Voicemail on Cityfile, a website a friend of ours set up not too long ago. Voicemail contains outgoing messages from various celebrities, socialites, editors and other J'Adorables for the entire world to hear. Our favorite is that of Victoria Gotti because, even after all these years, she still sounds like a nasally long island bitch with bleach blonde hair and fake titties! J'Adore!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
You are no stranger to Brad Fisher by now, and if you are, just stick around. We hear Brad's in Los Angeles right now chasing all the nimrod blonde actress socialite whatever things up and down Sunset Blvd trying to rid of them all for the greater good of humanity.
We were sent this photo by a J'Adorable fan last night who spotted Mr. Fisher at the Bar Marmont. He was probably taking a break from his extermination duties.
ANYJ'ADORE... we're posting this for one reason and one reason only. The headband. Brad was the one who originally inspired Lindsay Lohan, Olivia Newton-John, Madonna and most tragically, Mary-Kate Olsen to don the cranial contraption.
Now, heading into Fall, Brad is taking the band one step further. He's wearing it in terry cloth, and he's ensuring that it matches the fruit in his cocktail most J'Adorably for maximum effect. Gin & Tonic, please! With a terry band back.
Bitches. Yes, we're talking to you. We want to share a little piece of heaven with you. An amuse bouche for the soul, one could say.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
You remember our friend Aaron Newbill from a little while back? (Between you and us, he sort of reminds us of this kid, but we digress....)
Well, turns out, Aaron went out and got himself a blog! Yup. Our J'Adorable fans are constantly striving to be like us and are failing miserably on the daily, BUT... Aaron's a different (closet) case.
We are sort of into La Newbill's musings on what it's like to be the head scout at Ford Models and what it takes for YOU to be a model. You really just could have just asked us what it takes, and we would have told you.
Above is a video from his blog recounting the trials and tribulations he faced during his recent trip to Puerto Rico to judge the Ford Supermodel of the World contest. Pay special attention to the part where he tries to justify wearing his father's vintage Raybans. Those damn fashion queens. We just can't get enough.
You got to love 91 year olds because they just don't get technology, and you know what? FUCK IT! If you've lived that long and you're still doing it, you should be screaming it from the mountaintops! Watch this clip to hear Ernie's secret to staying so young!
Thursday, August 07, 2008
Bitches! We are PISSED!!!! Above is the cover the September issue of W Magazine with Kate Hudson. Below is a 1994 cover of Harper's Bazaar with Nadja Auermann. We cannot believe that W so shamelessly RIPPED OFF one of our most favorite all time magazine covers! We cannot believe that absolutely no one on W's editorial team or the photographer or the makeup artists or the stylists or ANYONE didn't say...."Hey, wait! Didn't Bazaar do this in '94?" We are giving W a BIG Je N'Adore Pas today! We also don't want to hear that this was an homage to the '94 cover. Get original, bitches. This is fashion.
UPDATE: Bryan Boy picked us up and is conducting a poll. Vote!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
We don't understand sometimes. Our major networks are banning the Eva Mendes CK ad, but we can drive down the street and see an ad telling us to "Suck On This" with no problem! Trust us. We have no problem telling you to suck on this or suck on that. We love it when you suck it, but the hypocrisy just boggles our minds!
We're not really sure which one of us thought that taking the parental figures to a reggae festival at the Hollywood Bowl featuring UB40 was a good idea, but we did it anyway.
This past Sunday, we went to the bowl with our sister, our 2 cousins, our parents and our aunt and uncle for a fun concert day. We packed sandwiches and fruits and desserts and a bunch of beers and headed out! It was really amazing to sit and eat and watch the people file into such a historically relevant LA venue.
It wasn't until 20 minutes into the first act that we realized what we had done might have been a mistake. We think that we were the only 8 people in the stadium of 16,000 NOT smoking incredibly kind marijuana! Our cousins, sister and us started cracking up immediately.
At first, the parents didn't really realize, but then when the Rastafarian guy right in front of us pulled out a 2 foot pipe with a bowl the size of a wok, they started to ask questions. We were dying with J'Adoration! We think that they got a little contact high from the second hand because 2 hours into the concert, we looked over and our 70 year old uncle was totally jamming to the sounds of Kingston Town! J'Adore!
Below is our account of the evening...
Growing up in LA, Cal Worthington was like a second father to us. He sold cars alongside his "dog spot" which was never actually a dog but a monkey or a tiger or a seal or a.... you get the picture!
If you haven't already figure it out from our previous posting, we're in Los Angeles, and the other day, we were driving down Sunset Blvd. and the radio spot for Cal came on. We immediately J'Adored and sent it to our boy Michael K over at Dlisted!, and he ran it today as his Hot Slut Of The Day for us.
Check it before you wreck it!
Monday, August 04, 2008
When Out Magazine's editor-in-chief, Aaron Hicklin, talks, people just roll their eyes and keep dipping their chicken McNuggets into that tangy BBQ sauce which comes in those cute little plastic containers. It's just the way it is.....but not for us!
Aaron emailed us this morning with a sneak peek at the September issue which features a story on Neil Patrick Harris and delves into many controversial subjects including gay marriage, Anderson Cooper and NPH's addiction to J'Adore Joey. Okay, maybe that last part isn't totally true, but we're sure it would be if only he had heard of us!
The issues hits newsstands on August 11th. J'Adore!
Saturday, August 02, 2008
Whenever we go home to visit our family, we immediately run to the Trader Joe's in which we basically grew up! The first thing we drop in our little baskets is Trader Joe's Belgian Chocolate Pudding!
OMG, Bitches! If you've never tasted this stuff, you're missing out on one of the modern 7 wonders of the world! Thick and creamy with a sweet after taste (get your mind out of the gutter....we're still talking about pudding here!), it's perfect for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Add a small dollop of whipped cream and a sliced strawberry, and you're good to go!
What is it with our J'Adorables constantly sending us photos of themselves in various states of J'Adorosity?
Late yesterday afternoon, we received this photo of Darryl Gibson, (the man who made Bungalow 8 the den of sin it is today), sleeping on the job at LA's newest and hottest mammary mecca, the Rooftop at the Thompson Beverly Hills.
We know it's hard creating glamour on the daily (we DEFINITELY should know), but is this for realz? Someone get La Gibson a double espresso stat!
Friday, August 01, 2008
We know. We know. If we post one more thing about our J'Adorably hot friend, Doug Friedman, we're gonna commit J'Adoricide too! But we just can't help ourselves sometimes...
Today, we were passing back and forth Blackberry messenger messages about how much we J'Adore each other...(we ARE Leos after all!), and Mr. Friedman sent us this photo of himself in what seems to be some sort of recreational facility for bear cubs or something. We're not sure. We personally have never seen anything like it.
Leave it to Doug E. Fresh though to find a mirror, position himself in it, ensure composition and balance are just slightly asymmetrical and then snap and send! J'Adore!
We Leos travel in packs, and we have MANY birthdays to J'Adore this month, Friedman included. Keep checking back in on the daily to get to know a few of our peeps one by one on their days of birth.
We've always worn our heart on our sleeves, but we've never graffitied our soul on the side of buildings in NYC! We're pretty pissed that we didn't think of it first. Our favorite slave driver, Michael Bailey, sent this in to us on his way home from work the other day. J'Adore!
We know this photo is a few days old, but we haven't been able to write about it because we've busy setting the wheels in motion for a major class action lawsuit against Lindsay Lohan for disgracing and defacing our sacred name. We're suing for defamation, libel and slander as well. And we're throwing in some emotional and psychological distress just for fun.
She has crossed the line taking our name in vain, and we will reign victorious in our pursuits. Keep reading In Touch for further updates.