Friday, August 31, 2007
BUT....our most J'Adored boy, Michael K, over at DListed! posted this photo today which he found on Unconfirmed Sources, and we totally LOLed! Come on! It's totally photoshopped, but it's pretty fucking funny, no? J'Adore!
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Anyway, you'll remember Darryl from our alcoholic lunches in Los Angeles with Simone Bent, for who, coincidentally, Darryl was in town. He and us went to her fabulous little black tie wedding to the J'Adorable Troy Garrity last Saturday night. We were all dolled up in our tuxedoes. It was 96 degrees out with 90% humidity! We dropped a J'Adorable 18 pounds in water weight that night alone! We had sweat puddles in our shoes! Je N'Adore Pas!
We turned it out major at the wedding, then we went to meet our J'Adorably HOT friend Will Wikle at Mr. Black where we got all hot and sweaty subterranean style thumpin' and bumpin' with all the 'mos a boy could handle!
We don't even want to tell you about the rest of the night at Glass and Bungalow 8 cuz it's just too embarassing....let's just say it involved a bar fight, a surfboard, Olivia Newton John's Let's Get Physical, a stoned DJ name Uncle Mike and a bacon cheeseburger with fries! Nuff said. J'Adore!
The next day it was back to Bungalow 8 where Darryl hosted an intimate gathering for all his fans to come pay homage to him while he was in town. We went because the invite said 11pm - 1am and we thought it would be a cute little cap to a fabulous weekend before we hit the hay by 2am. We should have known better!
The entire crew from back in the day showed up!!! Errickson Wilcox, Nan Lily Cho, Sid Haywood, Lelaine Lau, Anthony Henderson, Troy Cain, Billy Farrell, Tiana, Huey Morgan, Dreni (our most J'Adored baretender EVER) and countless others! We all ended up at the Sunday night party at Hiro! We thought we had turned out it the night before?!?! Hardly!!!
When we tell you that Darryl gave it to us and about 300 others in that room to Beyonce's Deja Vu remix by Miss Honey Dijon, we fuckin' mean it! We weren't able to walk for hours after! We haven't danced like that since we were trapped in an abandoned warehouse in downtown Los Angeles circa 1994 with Lady Miss Kier from Deee-lite!
We left Hiro and tried to make it over to APT, but we just couldn't. We had to bid the family adieu at around 4:30am, but that didn't stop THEM! They kept going and went back to Mr. Black, same place from the night before, turning it on and on til 6 in the morn'! Woooork!
We eventually ended our weekend visit with the J'Adorable Mr. Gibson with another alcoholic lunch on Monday afternoon at Bar Pitti with the ever fabulous Errickson Wilcox, a.k.a. Eson.
We weren't glad to see Darryl go, but our liver sure as hell was!
Until the next time he returns....and in the meantime, we're calling the government to come in and help us repair all the damage! J'Adore!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Anyway, CNN ran this story today saying that the Queen of Mean left her damn dog, a Maltese named Trouble, a fucking $12 million trust fund!!! What the hell is a dog going to do with all that money??? Meanwhile, two of her four grandchildren were given absolutely nothing for "reasons that are known to them".
Clean and architecturally forceful, the clothes, the lighting and the hair and makeup all come together to show you exactly what you should aspire to this fall. If you need any help with this, feel free to email us.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
We are so excited right now because Mercedes Benz Fashion Week has once again fallen upon us! And what does that mean to you, oh couturely challenged J'Adorables? Probably nothing. But to us it means having our beloved New York City swarmed with gorgeous models from all over the world running from fitting to casting to another fitting to a meeting with their drug dealer to one more casting! It's truly J'Adorable!
Just today while we were lunching with our friends at Bar Pitti we were overcome by hundreds of legs longer than the eye can see and muscles more finely toned than ours!!!
On the downside, we're faced with FIERCE COMPETITION for the next two weeks, so you model bitches better watch out! Cuz you're going down!
Saturday, August 25, 2007
In the chorus, it says, "Let's Go Crazy! Let's Go Nuts! Let's look for the purple banana 'til they put us in the truck! Let's Go!"
WTF? Purple Banana??? Truck??? Did anyone know that these were the words??? All these years, and this is what we were trying to sing? Who knew? Between you and us, if we ever come up to you and ask you to help us look for a purple banana, PLEASE just throw us in a truck and send us away!
Click here for full lyrics.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Our boys over at The Fagat Guide posted a "Why You Are Gay" piece today trying to tell us it was because of Quantum Leap and Remington Steele. We've got a few years on them, so they're not totally right in our case.
We like to think we're gay because of Voyagers! And when we say gay, we don't mean it in the "I want to be your underaged sidekick and hope we find a warm pile of hay to lay in tonight" type of way, but rather, in the "OMG! We love history too!!! Can we get one of those compass thingies with the red and green lights?!" type of way.
Either way. You're pretty gay.
Actually, we just remembered a story from our youth in Los Angeles. Friends of our friends once gave their cat some cocaine mixed in with her food and about an hour later they found the cat walking really slowly BACKWARDS around the backyard patio table! That's sort of mean, but if you don't consider the animal cruelty part, it's J'Adorably funny.
Our favorite quote of the piece is "Many will probably think that the obvious culprits — those damn meth-loving Chelsea gays — are behind this, but if there's anything that gang treasures more than sleeveless tees, it's puppies."
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
OMG, BITCHES! Two of our most favorite things in the world just came all over each other and presented themselves to us in the most J'Adorable of ways! The Golden Girls and Clueless!!! We're a bit too tired to try to be funny, so just watch the damn video and see if you like it yourselves.
We're sorry, but we J'ADORE J'ADORE J'ADORE J'ADORE J'ADORE J'ADORE J'ADORE Merrill Howard Kalin!
He's just so good and tasty and mmmmmm and mmmm and MMMMMMMM!!! He makes our mouthes so yummy!
We're sorry. We just can't.
We're Julia Childs. No. We're Raquel Welch. No! Wait! We're Spice Gourmet.
We are sooooooooo going to hell!!!
So we're wining and dining, and we turn the page to find the most offensive Look Book they've ever run! The offense isn't political but more social, one could say. Just because it's the fashion issue, must you run two stupid gold-digging models on bikes who have no idea who Rocco di Spirito is? (Actually, the not knowing Rocco di Spirito thing was their only saving grace. We totally Je N'Adore Pas him MAJOR!)
So when we were referred to Maps Of War, we totally J'Adored all over ourselves. It offered some clarity to the development of a part of the world that at many times is quite confusing.
Reuters featured this story today on a fashion show in the town of Damour just outside of Beirut. We're not too sure how those three fat guys with titties managed to make it front row. We're thinking that this show didn't really have any publicists doing seating, but we digress.
We just J'Adore seeing life moving forward when at times there might be no life to see.
Monday, August 20, 2007
We don't watch television over here at the J'Adore Joey offices. Yes, sometimes we miss the Discovery Channel and the History Channel and those reruns of the Golden Girls on Lifetime Television, but we make due. We've got YOU instead! J'Adore!
We're not sure how this came across our desk, but we sure do love us some Stewie from The Family Guy. Makes us want to call our local cable provider, but we're not going to.
J'Adore Stewie being gay in all his gayness. Actually, Stewie is Bi, but we digress...
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
If you don't know, now you know. Candis Cayne is our IDOL! One of the hottest trannies out there, Ms. Cayne works our J'Adoration to the bone! And we mean BONE! What are we talking about? We're a bit hungover today, and we have no idea what we're saying.
Anyway, above is a video of Candis doing God Warrior. You know. The God Warrior from wife swap. The video is below. Whatever. Just watch both videos. We're going to take a nap. Our head is throbbing.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Sunday, August 12, 2007
This 80 year old woman was laying out her towel upon which to lay and sun her naked loins....or so we thought...it turned out that it was NOT a towel at all, but rather, her LABIA MAJORA which she was discreetly trying to conceal! We squealed and ran in the opposite direction!!!
Why must nudists always go shell hunting which always entails BENDING OVER towards unexpecting sunbathers! If we wanted to see axe wounds, we'd rent Friday the 13th from Blockbuster! JE N'ADORE PAS!
We didn't know that beach patrol were also allowed to go nude!!! I'm sure after a long day on that ATV our poor little patrol boy needed a massage to the rear.....or at least some moisturizer. Can't be fun in the sun!
We sooooo wish we had brought some band aids with us because this 3oo pound woman couldn't have enjoyed dragging her bloody nipples along the sand the way she was! That shit must hurt MAJOR! If those breats hung any lower, they would have been trailing yards behind!
This one we so didn't understand. This bitch of a ho was doing a straight up naked hand stand in the middle of the ocean....nothing but spread legs and va-jay-jay pointing to the sun! WTF?! Was she trying to trap a seagull? Was it a message to extraterrestrials to come and beam her up? All we know is that for those 10 seconds of a hand stand, the beach was overcome with a rancid stank of week old tuna in a can left out in the sun!
This little troupe of boys were all the rage this afternoon. They were giving you MEAT and greet all the way from one end of the beach to the other! Not one person they wouldn't stop to say hello to. OVER HERE! HELLOOOO!!!
The only real unfortunate thing to happen to us today was the fact that we had to plop ourselves down right next to a VERY naked Robert Isabel. If you don't know him, don't try to get to know him. He's a bitter BITTER event planner queen from the Studio 54 days. If you want to know what tired and tacky is, look him up. He's listed and located in the meatpacking district....Je N'Adore Pas! And to add to his misery, his little friend is really small and shriveled up!
By 7:30pm, we were back in lower Manhattan looking all tanned and gorgeous with our nether regions still tingling from all the salt water in which they partook! J'Adore nude sunbathing! It's really not that stressful except for that one moment where your eyes might fall up on glistening bodies and your favorite member might stand up at attention and say J'ADORE! But until then, keep your champagne wishes and caviar dreams alive! We know we do!
We just received this commercial from a friend of ours in Brazil who said he couldn't stop laughing every time he watched it. At first, we were like, "Dude! It's a hair commercial!", but then we watched it, we actually did let out an audible chuckle. Probably because we can totally relate. We give gorgeous shiny hair on the daily! J'Adore!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
We met this one in September of 2002 at 5 in the morning after we had finished working the Stella McCartney store opening party (which was beyond J'Adorable in itself).
We went to Bungalow 8 at around 2 to see our other partner in crime, Darryl Gibson, and after a long night of partying, we went to Cafeteria for an early morning meal. We walk into the place and there was Xander wearing nothing but leather hot pants, a leather collar with 2 foot long leather strands and a 5 foot feather sticking out of his afro-hawk! SICK SICK SICK!
It was only after he had finished his 20 minute runway presentation that we were able to order, but that's the price you pay for being allowed to observe him in all his glory.
In our 11 years in NYC, we have never met anyone that gives you self-identity like Xander does. He loves you. He loves himself. And he certainly would never care if you gave him a Je N'Adore Pas! Cuz who are YOU?!?! WORK! J'ADORE!
Friday, August 10, 2007
This is one of our most J'Adored videos of all time. With Sofia Coppola, Debi Mazar and that freaky German guy that's everywhere and nowhere all at the same time, Madonna turned it out, giving us an anthem for our late teens to which we would bump hips for years thereafter. Plus, the video is set in our hometown of Los Angeles, and that's BEYOND J'Adorable!
Do we want to talk about the symbolism in the balloons or shall we just leave it be on a Friday night?
This footage of supposed UFOs was shot over Haiti on the evening of August 6, 2007. Okay, bitches. We would J'ADORE to know that aliens are flying over earth, but we find it so fucking hard to believe. Why can't we just capture one and show the world they exist so that we can just move on???
We personally don't believe we are alone in the universe. With George W. Bush as the most powerful man in the free world, there's got to be more to aspire to. Give us a damn alien. A spacecraft. A new narcotic. What? Who said that?
Whatever. We want to believe. We really do. But we're not going to until someone drops some alien DNA in our lap......and we don't mean THAT way.....dirrrrrty. You guys are always so dirrrrty. Jeez.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Our good friend, Kevin Dickson, from In Touch Magazine in Los Angeles just posted these two unbelievable videos of "Jimmy" on his MySpace. Above is the Bollywood classic and below is M.I.A.'s anthem cover! They're both just BEYOND J'Adorable! You have to watch the end of the Bollywood version. WTF?!?!
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
This past weekend, Fergie's Big Girls Don't Cry was all over the radio, and although we didn't like it at first, it started growing on us and now we totally J'Adore it! But there's one thing.... we don't understand the line that goes "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket..." WTF? We're letting that one go.
And in other big girls not crying news, we came across this monstrosity of a video. It makes us wrench in disgust thrusting us deep into a Je N'Adore Pas state of mind, but it's bizarrely addicting. We actually watched it til the end.
Digging for clams! Thank God it wasn't crabs!
The floating BBQ!
Katie, Liz & Kyle....poster children for underage drinking!
Our Master of Ceremonies, Jack Antos! He was totally giving us Britney Spears with his seaweed wig. She should look into it. Would look better than the mess she's got now!
The J'Adorelicious Zaiya Latt!
Matt drank a little bit too much, and we lost him for about an hour. We eventually found him laying on the bay floor. Luckily, three codfish were giving him mouth to mouth and keeping him going!
We didn't get this one's name, but we could have sworn we saw him in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue circa 2003.
A little video of the clambake in action!