J'ADORE SUPERMODEL FOR A DAY!

Okay, Bitches! Are you ready for the most random story EVER? Last week, we were sitting in some super fancy salon getting our hair did, and some guy carrying a laptop and doting a French accent stops behind our chair, looks at us in the mirror and says "I know yoooo!". And we were like, "Do you?". We had no idea who the guy was, but he clearly remembered meeting us at the Van Cleef & Arpel Party that kicked off NY Fashion Week Spring '08.

It turns out, he DID know us, and we DID meet him. He was none other than famed Belgian photographer, Michael Benisty, who we had met via Michael Klug, the editor in chief of Whitewall Magazine, the hottest little art mag to hit the stands in a very long time.

To make a long story short, we got home that evening to find an email from Monsieur Benisty asking if it would be possible to photograph us for a series of photos he's doing on New York socialites! Who knew we were a socialite? We of course said yes, because when was the last time someon other than us asked to take our photo!?

Today is the big day. We're heading down to his studio at 2pm. We've pulled all the hottest Fall Winter 2007 pieces from our closet....Valentino, Gucci, Buckler, Y-3, Varvatos, etc. You know how we do. We don't have to tell you.

Anyway, we're sure Anna Wintour is gonna come knocking any day now. Stay tuned...

JE N'ADORE PAS!

The one thing we never understood about living in NYC is that the weather changes literally OVERNIGHT! All of a sudden it is COLD, and we haven't even gotten around to doing our Spring cleaning yet!!! We know!!! We're over 6 months late!!! Anyway, we're not really loving it yet, but we will, and it will be okay. We just wanted to vent because we can't feel our feet right now.

Oh, and that's another thing. When you live in gorgeous pre-war buildings with 14 foot ceilings like we do, you don't have control of your own heat! You have to wait til the temperature drops below 48 degrees or something and some stupid sensor kicks in the hot water that's sent up to your radiator! What the hell is that about? Okay. We're done now.

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

-Buddha

J'ADORE PAUL POTTS!

While completely hungover on Sunday and wishing death upon ourselves (if only to take the pain away), we cruised YouTube and watched funny videos while we patiently waited for our final moment of mortality to arrive. In the process, we found Paul Potts.

We're sure this guy is old news to most of you, but we here at the J'Adore Joey offices don't watch television, so it was quite an exciting moment for us when we found him.

Paul is a cell phone salesman in South Wales who sings opera. He went on Britain's Got Talent, and the bitch stole the show. At the end of the day, Paul is an inspiration. For us, he's an example of strength and confidence. A reminder that we should never be afraid to step up to the plate and show the world who we really are.

We are so gonna sing opera later today in Times Square. If you don't hear from us by tomorrow at 3pm, it's because some crackhead shot us because we can't really sing opera.

J'ADORE ORDER IN OUR UNIVERSE!

We woke up this morning to a Citibank Email Alert on little red blackberry! We got excited, but we were half asleep, so we didn't want to jump to any conclusions. But lo and behold, when we logged on to Citibank's website, we found that all of our missing moolah was there! They found the check! CHAMPAGNE AND CAVIAR FOR EVERYONE THIS MORNING! J'ADORE!

JE N'ADORE PAS!

We've been wanting to get back to J'Adoring you, but we just haven't been able to. We finished our time with The Supper Club, and we're happy to be looking forward to new horizons. Then we went to Alison Sarofim's Annual Halloween Party on Saturday, and we don't expect our hangover to end for another 2 days! Yes. It was THAT good of a party.

To make matters worse, we woke up this morning to find that the MASSIVE check we had deposited in our account on Friday has gone missing! HOW ARE WE GOING TO CONTINUE HAVING CAVIAR AND CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST IF OUR CHECK IS NOT FOUND?!?!?

All we know is that on Friday at 6pm, we deposited a check that could buy and sell most people in Manhattan only to find that Citibank LOST IT!!! We are not happy, and we're giving Citibank a big JE N'ADORE PAS right now! Yes, you heard us, ShittyBank!!! JE N'ADORE PAS!!!

So until we get our money back, you're not gonna be hearing from us....

J'Adore?

J'ADORE GETTING THERE IF WE CAN!

We're her desert crossing Arab man. Ain't no one gonna find a sled and slide into her arms like we are. We don't care how we get there. We're just gonna get there if we can. J'Adore the classics!

J'ADORE FINALLY!

UGH!!!! We feel like we haven't J'Adored you in AGES, and we are sooooo very sorry. Our lives have been quite chaotic over the past couple of weeks, but it's almost over. Tonight's the night we kick up our heels and celebrate the launch of The Supper Club New York!

This party is the reason we've been so distant! It's been so crazy. We're not going to even tell you the drama we had to go through because even WE can't be as mean as we'd like to be. Someone screwed us royally, and we had to go into major damage control mode, but it's all good.

Today, we got the cover story of the New York Post's Pulse Section, and we have to say, it's quite the J'Adorable piece! Read it and try to understand why we've been gone so long. It's not easy making J'Adorosity happen!!!

JE N'ADORE PAS!

We just wanted to drop a quick note to say that we haven't forgotten about you. It's just that we're dealing with a MAJOR crisis at work, and it doesn't seem like we can find a solution. We've been working on it all week long, and it's starting to piss us off BIG TIME! Anyway, once we've moved on, we'll be back to J'Adore you guys. In the meantime, hang in there for us.

J'ADORE CREEPY LITTLE GIRLS!

Michael Mouris has done it again with this film about Britney. Our favorite part is Dakota Fanning's cameo as the creepy little girl! Oh, and the bag of garbage came in a close second! J'Adore!

J'ADORE VICTORIA'S SECRET!

J'ADORE MARK ZEITOUNI!

You might remember our CRAZY time down in South Beach last winter for the Basel Miami Art Fair. It was out of control, but the one thing that kept us sane and going strong was the J'Adorable fare of Mark Zeitouni, the executive chef at The Standard Miami's Lido restaurant.

Everyday, he would send us Burrata Mozzarella served over crunchy haricot vert and cherry tomatoes drizzled with the finest olive oil and topped with the crunchiest grains of sea salt. We could have eaten that all day long!

This past week, The Miami Herald ran their review of Mark's menu, and he got THREE AND A HALF stars!!! It's really no surprise to us, but we can't tell you how proud we are of him!

If any of you are in the South Beach area anytime soon, you MUST make it a point to swing by The Lido to see what all the J'Adoration is about! Trust us. You will NOT be disappointed.

Also, ask to give your compliments to the chef directly! You'll be disappointed that HE'S not on the menu because he's the tastiest little morsel you'll ever did see!

J'ADORE IS YOU TWEAKIN'?!?!

R. Kelly is some crazy ass Gold Patron drinking, corn row braiding, stoagie smokin', real takin', mutha fuckin', bitch ass VIP pimpin' mutha fucka up in heyah! Just like him, we have no idea what we're talking about! Someone need to call the Popo on us and on HIM. What the hell is this video? Fuck us? No, Bitch, FUCK YOU! Watch this shit and don't call us no mo'....and don't be calling our mama's house either! Shit!

J'ADORE FORBIDDEN FOLLICLES!

Take a deep breath. Breathe. Feel your lungs fill to the brim with pure oxygen. Exhale. Relax. Let it all out. Okay. Let's talk hairy crotches.

We have been waiting TEN MONTHS for this day. You probably don't know....actually, we know you don't know...because only the select few own one, and yes, we're one of them. It's The Standard Hotel 2007 calendar. We're shaking with J'Adorosity just speaking the name.

Every year, Andre Balazs and his creative queen, Claire Darrow, commission a calendar embodying all that is The Standard.....(Hollywood, Downtown L.A. and Miami Beach all rolled into one but all very different....we'll discuss this later).

This year's calendar was shot by our most J'Adored Matthias Vriens, who, if we were not legally bound to secrecy, we'd tell you all about, but we can't, because the last time we hung out with him in Los Angeles, we almost got arrested....okay, not really, but close. It DID involve paparazzi and Tom Ford though. Email us, and maybe we'll tell you about it.

Portraying all the hottest staff from each of the three properties, the calendar has already given us over 270 days of sticky fingers! J'Adore!!!

This month's J'Adorable staff member is Damien who hails from Puerto Rico and who currently works at the Downtown L.A. property as a bar back. He can back our bar ANYTIME! Trust!

We love the way he's giving us buttons busted open, forbidden follicles falling forth and masculine moustachioed machismo.........(J'Adore alliteration. Can you tell?)

The best part of the October Man of the Month is not the way he's looking at us wanting to spew his J'Adoration all over our chest, but rather, the fact that there are only two more months until the new calendar reaches us select J'Adorables!

We are not allowed to tell you what the future holds in store, but we can assure you that it's going to be one hell of a 2008! Maybe you'll get yours in the mail, but somehow, we think not!

Don't hate us cuz we're above Standard...

J'ADORE THE APTHORP!

When we first moved to New York City some odd years ago, we had the incredible opportunity to live at The Apthorp for about two months. This week New York Magazine takes an in depth look at what it really means to live there, its new owners and its wavering future. There is just too much information on the building to give you now, and it makes us sad to think of the day when we took that final walk through those iron gates with our suitcases in tow, so we're not going to go on.

J'ADORE CARTOON CANDY EVEN MORE!

OMG, BITCHES!!! We already told you how much we loved the first CandyCast when it came out this summer, but now, the second one has come out, and it's BEYOND J'ADORABLE! This is exactly why we love Candy Pratts Price.....because she's just SOOOOO uber-fashion that you're like what the hell is this bitch talking about?!?! But it's amazing because, somehow, in all the confusion, it totally makes sense!!! Well, at least to us it does...

Some of our favorite quotes...

"So you're at lunch and you've got a gold bag and they go like UGH you've got a gold bag at lunch, BUT YOU HAVE A GOLD BAG!"

"YOHJI! YOHJI! YOHJI!"

"I love a clutch bag. I love a clutch bag because you can put that bag into another bag and that gives you more bags! Let's say you have a vintage Gucci alligator clutch and you all of a sudden slip it out of a Coach tote bag and it's like an AAAAH! moment"

"And now for the things I love.....FISH LEATHER! It's a unique alternative from the exotic leathers. Next time you eat that salmon, think of your handbag!"

J'ADORE THE SECOND QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing it’s best to make you into everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting....It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” - E. E. Cummings

J'ADORE NOTE TO SELVES!

.......watch more football.

J'ADORE OLLIE BEHIND THE BAR!

We are so excited right now because we were just invited to R Bar in Williamsburg tonight where our good friend Oliver Kramer who you'll remember from our dinner at Indochine (he was wearing Alexander McQueen making us totally jealous) is going to be bartending for one night only in some kind of promotional effort to increase sales on a slow Monday night. If you're in the neighborhood, you have to stop by! Our only recommendation is that you order nothing more complicated than a beer. You don't want to confuse him...

J'ADORE THE QUOTE OF THE DAY!

"Society, my dear, is like salt water. It's good to swim in but hard to swallow." - Arthur Stringer

J'ADORE DURAN DURAN ON BROADWAY!

The New York Times is reporting today that Duran Duran is coming to Broadway next month for nine performances only to promote their new album, "Red Carpet Massacre". They will play the Ethyl Barrymore Theater from November 1 to November 12. Don't ask us how to get tickets because we're not telling. Imagine you get tickets and we don't? That would NOT be J'Adorable!

J'ADORE THE CRAZY KIDS AT RADAR!

Those ridiculously batty kids over at Radar Magazine have done it again. Last June, The New York Times published a piece about how acceptable the use of cocaine was in New York City again. Like ordering a glass of champagne at the bar.

Well, it only took them four months, but our gorgeous friends at Radar played this prank on our fair city. We think it's kind of genius, and we're glad our boy Neel Shah didn't get arrested. Or did he? Read to find out.