I love when peeps from out of town come to New York to visit and they experience things that, let's be real, only fuckin' happen in New York.
Above is my friend, Laur..., umm, Jane. Jane is in New York on business, and she decides to go to Brit Pop night at Luke & Leroy, as any HOT publishing world bitch would do on a visit to New York. Jane meets Jona..., umm, John at Brit Pop night. John is a special events director at a theater on 42nd Street owned by Disney. (To me, this has homosexual written all over it, but I digress...)
Jane and John engage in tittilating conversation. They imbibe in their angel's share. They get closer over a small amount of disco dust. They end up in her hotel room.
After a fun shower, Jane realizes she has no condoms. So Jane and John leave the hotel room to purchase some. John contributes nothing to the purchase besides a rolled up dollar bill. Thanks, John.
A night filled with 3 seconds of passion ensues, and in the morning, John wakes up to a breakfast of disco dust and water before band practice. You all saw this coming, no? John asks Jane for a dollar bill in order to "eat" his breakfast. John hugs Jane goodbye, puts her dollar bill in his pocket and walks out the door!!!
HE RECLAIMED THE DOLLAR HE HAD CONTRIBUTED FOR CONDOMS JUST 6 HOURS BEFORE!!!
Jane is left in her hotel room alone, bitter, unsatisfied and one dollar poorer...
Only in New York, Bitches. Only in New York.