J'ADORE CRAZY BAPTISTS FOR BROWNBACK!

We just received the CRAZIEST email from our good friends Jarett and Monica over at In Touch Magazine. It seems that the wacky fundamentalist group, Baptists for Brownback, are having their day!

For a while now, they have been praying to the good Lord to smite Christina Aguilera and to save their Christian children from the filth and heresy that is her music, in turn, sealing shut the doors to "harlotry and sodomy". Below the full account of their answered prayers....

Christina Aguilera Finally Tastes Her Just Desserts!
Folks, sometimes God works in mysterious ways. He’ll do something for reasons you, in your puny mortal ignorance, cannot fathom. So be it. It is not up to us, and especially you, to question His wisdom. However, events such as tornadoes, earthquakes and the unending persecution of President George W. Bush can have the effect of drying up your well of faith. Jesus and I understand this, even as we rebuke you for your weakness.

But then, every once in a while, the Lord will take action so obviously necessary, so clear in its intent, that Christians everywhere find their faith-wells overflowing with the sweet, crystal waters of Christ’s eternal justice. Just such an event occurred over the weekend.

I am speaking of course of the “upper respiratory infection” that has struck down Miss Christina Aguilera, her “dancers” and various members of her “crew”. A “singer” of popular “music”, Aguilera has lost her voice, and has been forced to cancel a series of concerts in Australia. You may read and revel in the full details here.

Lord only knows how this strumpet contracted her throat infection. I do not want to know. But suffice to say these lyrics, from one of her songs, provide a clue:

“Hush now, don’t say a word

I’m gonna give you what you deserve

Now you better give me a little taste

Put your icing in my cakeYou nasty boy (boy)

“Oh no, ooh there I go again

I need a spanking, ’cause I’ve been bad

So let my body do the talkin’

I’ll slip you that hot, sweet, sexy lovin’ (lovin’)”

Those words come from a song titled, “Naughty, Nasty Boy”, which may as well be the official anthem for harlotry and sodomy. One can only imagine how many unplanned sexual events occurred as a result of impressionable young minds being exposed to such filth.

But thanks to the majesty and power of God, the blaring megaphone of Christina Aguilera’s sexual terrorism has been muffled.And Praise Jesus is all I can say to that! Why not head on over to Christina Aguilera’s official website to express your support for the decision of the Ultimate American Idol judge.

In Christ’s Name,
Tobin Maker, resident pastor,
Baptists For Brownback 2008

What's Jarett's favorite line you ask? It has to be...

"But thanks to the majesty and power of God, the blaring megaphone of Christina Aguilera’s sexual terrorism has been muffled."

He's really BIG on sexual terrorism! J'Adore!!!