Wednesday, August 01, 2007

J'ADORE PARALYZED BLIND DATES!

OMG!!! Yesterday, we went to visit our friend, Ro...., ummm, let's just call him, Cocoon. He's leaving us for a month long adventure through northern Maine and Vermont tomorrow. We'll miss him MAJOR but are hoping he'll bring us back some lobster and cheese! J'Adore!

Anyway, he told us the most J'ADORABLY horrid story that really can only happen in New York City.

For the first time ever, Cocoon answered a gay personal ad on Craig's List and arranged to meet this guy.....let's call him Gargamel....for coffee. After receiving his picture via email, Cocoon decided Gargamel was attractive enough and worth his time to meet.

So, they made plans to meet later that afternoon and when Cocoon walked in to the coffeeshop, he spotted Gargamel across the room, but something was not right. As Cocoon approached Gargamel, Cocoon began to notice that Gargamel's face wasn't as he had seen it in the picture that had been emailed.

The right corner of his mouth was sloping downward, his right eye was half sealed shut, his left cheek was pulling back toward his ear, his left eye was bulging and the eyelid was twitching! He looked like a cross between Shrek and Shelley Duvall! WTF?!?!

Cocoon being the quick witted NYer he is, immediately asked Gargamel if he wanted anything and ran to the bar for a cup of coffee garnering himself a minute or two to figure out what he was going to do with this MONSTROSITY of a blind date he had just met.

Graciously, (Cocoon is from the south and would never want to make anyone feel ill at ease), Cocoon sat down for what had already proved to be a disaster of a blind date. After a few minutes of conversation, Gargamel disclosed that he had recently had dental surgery which had accidentally pinched a nerve which in turn had temporarily rendered his face HORRID!

Shortly thereafter, 7 minutes to be exact, Cocoon finished his coffee and left, thanking his date for a lovely afternoon!

Okay bitches.....let us ask you one question....if your face was horribly disfigured after a botched molar extraction, would you go on a blind date or would you reschedule for the week after when you were back to normal?

Yeah....us too!

1 comment:

Big Daddy said...

Yah, I would wait until I was back to normal.